Lawn swift? Excuse me, it's LANSWYFTE!

My landlady is upset about something. I can't imagine why she would go so berserk over my lawn otherwise!

On Monday night, July 12th, I received the following e-mail from her:

Jo,
I was at Anthony's yesterday and saw that the yard has not been cleaned up. It looks filthy and, despite notice from the City almost two months ago, it does not look as if you have made any effort. You have lived in that house for several years now, and must know part of renting a house is maintaining the yard, so I can see no reason you have not acquired a lawn mower by now. If you do not want to maintain a yard you may be happier in an apartment.
Please correct the problem, including mowing what is left of the yard, inside and outside the fencing, in the front and back and side yards; remove all depris and remove all blackberries on the property within one week, and keep it maintained. If you want fire wood for heat it needs to be stacked neatly in a pile away from the house. If you don't want it please ask Anthony to remove it from the property. He can sell it with the other wood he has from the trees. You mentioned in a previous email that you would have to use a sissors to cut the grass. I don't care if you decide to use a sissors, there is no excuse for letting it get in the condition it is in. If you do not correct the problem by July 20th you need to find living arrangements elsewhere, and have 30 days to do so, with prorated rent due for August by August 1st.
As to the person you informed me you had moved in, you do not have permission to add additional people to the rental agreement. You said she was there to help you but it looks like things are deteriorating instead of getting better. Please ask her to find other arrangements. If you were working, and needed day care so you can go to work, I might consider allowing you to add another person in the future. I have not heard that that is the circumstances now and see no reason to add to my liabilities. When I rented that house to you I charged a rental amount below market and have never raised the rent. In exchange I expected you to take good care of it. If I cannot depend on you to do so I will be hiring a rental management company to oversee the property and the rent will be increased to cover my expenses.
Please notify me as soon as the yard is cleaned, if you intend to stay, and I will have someone stop by to make sure it is satisfactory.
Thank you,
Suzanne


Um... I'm guessing she didn't talk to Anthony when she was here. She certainly didn't speak to me, or she'd have known that I was actually working on the backyard on the previous Friday, but ran out of weedeater line before I could finish the back or tackle the front. And if she even took time to think about it, she'd have realized that she'd have been fined by the city had it not been done earlier!

At any rate, I sent out an S.O.S. to my family, and Josh and Rich came to the rescue.

Tuesday afternoon, Josh rode up on his bicycle, and while he worked on mowing the front lawn with my reel mower (which needed adjusting badly, although I'd no idea how to do it), I worked on cutting and pulling out the blackberries around the house. Josh finally gave up on the mowing, after going over the same section repeatedly with no visible results.

This morning Rich dropped off both Josh and a lawnmower, with the promise of returning to pick him up later. Josh mowed the front yard, the front ditch, and tackled about 1/3 of the back before the hidden chunks of wood stopped him.

At one point while he was mowing the patch of grass under the cherry tree, he stopped and looked at me, where I was pulling weeds.

"Now I know it wasn't your mower that was the problem--- it was the grass," he informed me.

"Seriously?" I asked, surprised. I mean, he was using a gas-powered mower this time!

"Yep. I've gone over this section several times with this mower. The grass just doesn't want to be cut. I think this grass has been genetically engineered to resist cutting!"

Why doesn't this surprise me?

At any rate, we spent the day ripping up weeds, cutting grass, and moving wood from one part of the backyard to another so that Josh could continue mowing.

Tonight my visiting teacher came by, and I told her what was happening with the landlady's having sent that e-mail. She told me she'd try to find out who was my home teacher, and send him over to help.

Less than an hour later, a red pickup pulled into my driveway, and a man stepped out and knocked on my back door. He (I'm guessing) is my home teacher--- Jeff something-or-other.

I filled him in on the situation, and showed him what needed to be done, and he told me he's got a troop of Boy Scouts who do this sort of thing as fundraisers, so they have chainsaws, a hydraulic splitter, and lots of helping hands... and now they are scheduled to come over Thursday night at 5:30pm to get this show on the road.

Don't nobody badmouth the LDS church--- they have done more for me and my kids than my husband's family has done in the eleven months he's been out of the house!