Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Missing...

Today I was scheduled for a visit with my sons.

That's right--- I no longer get to have them for four hours each in the wild.

Seems Older Son's counselor has decided that I am the cause of Older Son's misbehavior at school, and she says that Older Son has stated that I remind him of the sexual abuse his sperm donor inflicted upon him... so she recommends that I no longer have unsupervised visitation with him, and that such visitation should be extremely limited.

I won't go into the rest of what she said. But I do admit that I brought my sons to my new apartment to show it to them... and then we went to BFF's house so that they could play with her kids. Oh, yeah--- Youngest got upset one time, so I brought him to my apartment to play on my computer.

SO... because I was stupid and thought that it was okay to bring my sons to my empty apartment without DHS's approval ahead of time, I can't have unsupervised visits anymore.

I got it. I screwed up.

But I came to DHS's office for our visit today... and my boys never arrived. And the foster family didn't answer the phone when the supervisor called to find out what was going on. And Anastasia, our caseworker, is out of town this week... so nobody knows what to do.

I don't even think I can call SIL or MIL myself to ask... I'm afraid it will be held against me in court.

Court, by the way, is on December 3rd, 2012. DHS is pushing for making SIL guardian of my sons... and I'm afraid that if that happens, I'll never get my sons back, no matter how perfect my life becomes.

I miss my kids... especially my sons. DD is on Facebook, and I can text or call her whenever I like.

But my sons... I don't even know if I can call them on the phone anymore, or if they're allowed to call me. So the only time I get with them is during this one hour a week... and if the grownups in the house don't bring them, I don't get to see them. I don't even know if I will get a makeup visit this week.

All I have are photos and memories of my sons to tide me over 'til the next visit.

I miss them...